foodtrucker: I simultaneously want to sleep in bed forever and do everything in the world
dogesexual: do you type differently depending on the person you’re talking to
Me: wow i like this album
Me: i think i'll listen to it until i don't
uoa: do you guys realize we can change our lives any time we want like you can just go ahead and delete ur blog, stop eating meat, shave or head, start running, tell that person you hate why you hate them so much, confess your love to someone and kiss them unexpectedly like why don’t we do that
christtmaslove: “do you have the time justin?”
cacforbrains: princessreesey: Edgar Allan No Edgar Allan Row Edgar Allan Low Edgar Allan Sew Edgar Allan Ho Edgar Allan Go Edgar Allan Toe Edgar Allan, yo Edgar Allan Doe Edgar Allan Bow Edgar allen stop
laugh-addict: When you put on your favorite movie for someone and you’re really excited for them to watch it for the first time AND THEY DON’T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO IT
forever: i like staying up at unhumanly hours but i also like getting 12 hours of sleep do u see my problem
That awkward moment when you're dancing in your...
fuckyeahlaughters: you’re like:
burghers: when people say nice things about you
talaem: “don’t be shy” thanks u cured me
jeff-witheys-xbox: 2001 Monsters, Inc. 2013 Monsters University When all these little kids try to get in line on June 21 before us….
remusandthelupins: hello, yes drug dealer i’d like some weed brownies hold the weed
(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
Me: “So, what will it be?”
Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
vincentvangaylord: timeandspaceismything: vincentvangaylord: grandkanye: imagine if giraffes had 2 legs That just looks like the front view of a giraffe. oh well excuse me princess do u need a fuckin sideview of it prancing through nature
rocker310: stylishirish: horain: stylishirish: this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil. it was a mechanical pencil You may...